Satanic
Ritual Abuse
Kim Kubal
Since survivors were never shown love
growing up in an abusive home, it is important to establish a loving healthy
relationship with one's inner child/parts. Survivors treat themselves how they
were treated in their family of origin. They have no idea what unconditional
family love is and nothing to compare it to.
Recognizing
Triggers
It is helpful to learn to recognize
triggers and separate the current situation from the past abuse, and not
transfer the feelings onto the situation or person. Speaking to one's inner
child/parts about the forthcoming event and reassuring them they are not alone,
that this is not an abusive situation and telling them they are loved, will
certainly help prepare them for the situation in advance.
Taking
Care of Oneself
Taking care of oneself means
exercising, eating healthy foods, eliminating addictions, getting a good
night’s sleep, staying present in one’s body and letting go of abuse and
abusive people. This also includes learning to set healthy boundaries, saying no
when needed, and not feeling responsible for another person’s feelings or
actions. This process begins with self-love.
Substituting
Self-Harm with Self-Care
For survivors in particular,
self-injury can be a coping mechanism, a way to relieve stress and anxiety and
a way of communicating when words are not available. The first step in
eradicating self-harm is acknowledging the denial, becoming conscious of the
self-harm and then removing the triggers.
The next step is to substitute
self-harm with self-care. Once a survivor understands how and when this
behavior occurs, it can then be talked about, drawn, sung or journalled, and
then the pressure to act physically may well diminish.
Learning to Trust Oneself
Because survivors are taught from an
early age not to trust themselves or others, learning to be present, listen to
their bodies and trust themselves are crucial tools for healing. It then
follows that by trusting oneself and one’s judgment, the survivor can learn to
trust others.
Recovery
Books and Survivor Stories
Reading recovery books and survivor
stories helps a survivor feel less alone, and hopeful that a productive,
meaningful life is indeed possible. Survivor stories can also give inspiration
and provide useful healing tools.
Nature
Learning to be present in one’s body
and in nature can be healing and nurturing whether it is seeing a beautiful
lake, watching a sunset, hiking, swimming or feeding the birds. One can come
away from a beautiful scene with gratitude that one is not alone and has
survived such horrendous abuse.
Journaling
Writing to vent anger can release
repressed feelings and can also help a person to better understand what they
are feeling at that given moment. Writing letters to the abusers, but not
always sending them can help the survivor get in touch with the rage and why
this happened to them. Another way of releasing anger is writing all the
incidents of the abuse that happened, dealing with those feelings, and then,
with witnesses, burn the writings outdoors.
Movement
and Dance
Movement and dance can help a
survivor learn to be more present in the body, help to get repressed feelings
to the surface and help the survivor become less selfconscious and learn to
love one’s body.
Collages
and Artwork
Using collages and artwork can help
to express and vent innermost feelings and allow the survivor to be present in
the body without hurting oneself.
Workshops
and Conferences
Attending survivors’ conferences and
workshops can help with feelings of isolation and aloneness, provide support
and encouragement from other survivors and provide an opportunity to meet and
talk with survivors.
Acting
Out
Acting out means using destructive
behavior to oneself. A survivor may not always be conscious of the act, may be
in a trance and not remember. To prevent acting out, it is best to try and stay
in one’s body, and enlist help from all dissociative parts so that the
situation does not recur.
Awareness
of Cult Holidays
Awareness of cult holidays and
knowing cult holidays in advance can prepare a survivor for feelings and
triggers that may surface. Planning events ahead of time on cult holidays, as
well as talking to oneself and/or dissociative parts in advance about cult
holidays can also help. It is crucial to be gentle with oneself knowing there
will be an end to the anniversary reaction and this too shall pass.
Dealing
with Chaos
Having structured time throughout the
day or planning a week ahead can help deal with disorganization, chaos and
dissociation, for instance having time to eat, bathe, sleep, do bills,
house-cleaning, exercise and rest.
Working
with Alters/Parts of Oneself
For a survivor with alters/parts,
talking with all parts, accepting, respecting, reassuring and educating them
will definitely help them feel empowered to open up to experiences and
viewpoints. This can help the parts learn to love and feel safe with each
other. .
Dealing
with Cult Programming
Dealing with programming,
particularly suicidal thoughts (e.g., “we will kill you if you talk” ) is how
the cult implanted a “don’t talk program.” In order to counteract the
programming, a survivor can label it as soon one is aware of it which takes the
power away. Furthermore, refusing to act on the programming then weakens the
negative messages by not reinforcing it.
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